*It had been far too long since my last feed. Last night, I stumbled while going to my chambers. Fucking tripped on air! Yeah cuz that was kingly. Damn air. But tonight, the Brothers had seen. Tonight, at the Brotherhood meeting, they could see bags under mine eyes. Xhex even said my grid was jacked up. Normally I’d tell them all to fuck off, but it was true. I wasn’t doing well.
Of course, as soon as I ended the meeting, Phury, Prim-fucking-male, was on the phone with some Chosen. I truly didn’t give a shit who it was. All I wanted at this point was to feed just to get the fuckers off my back.
I continued to sit in my office and wait on whomever Phury had called. Anxiety to have this over coursed through my veins. I hated this part of me. hated that I needed to do this to stay alive. I had tried but to no avail to not feed immediately following Beth’s passing to the Fade. How could I cheat on her like that? But ending up on bed rest was not what this race needed from their king.
The quiet knock on the door, brought me back to the present, letting me know someone was waiting on me. Only females knocked quietly on that door.* Come in, Chosen. *I sighed reluctantly. Why did this have to be so hard? Why did I have to make it into something it wasn’t every single time? I chuckled at the thought as the door opened. Because this was me, and I couldn’t do anything without making it harder than it had to be.
The nameless Chosen came into the office slowly. I assumed she was dressed in her white robe as the Chosen always were. She came up to me, sweetly, innocently. The smell of her was just as sweet and innocent, like fresh snow. I could only assume she bowed as was the custom before speaking to me. “My lord. Thank you for having me this eve.” I smiled halfheartedly. I heard her robes adjust against her skin as she kneeled in front of me slowly. “Sire, my wrist?” I heard her say. I didn’t want to show my blindness, so I just held out my hand, waiting her to place her wrist in it.
She got my hint, and did what I wanted. I grasped her tiny wrist in both of my big hands and brought it to my mouth. Just the smell of her wrist, her blood so close, was enough to make my fangs ache to pierce her skin.
Slowly, second guessing myself very inch of the way, my fangs made their way to her skin. Finally, piercing her skin, I moaned deeply. Right away my vampire self took over, pushing the widowed hellren aside, not giving a fuck about anything but feeding. All that mattered was that luscious hot liquid that was finding its way down my throat, warming me on its way.
Almost immediately, I found myself hard as a rock. One of those side effects of feeding that just end up making me feel ashamed. Ashamed that I was quite literally cheating on mine shellan - no matter that she may be in the Fade. I was powerless against the lure of this Chosen When I had her blood flowing through my body.
The lump inside my leathers began throbbing. Each pull from her vein, seemed to make the Chosen moan, which only served to make me harder. The side of me that felt ashamed, embarrassed even to be feeding from a Chosen after having lost my shellan? Well, he was gone. His shame was ignored. Everything but the pure animalistic need to be fed and be with another was ignored.
She wanted me. I could smell it, her lust, her need. This feeding wasn’t just affecting me, but her as well. And fuck that made things 100 times worse. One of my hands found its way into the Chosen’s hair as my feeding became desperate. My pulls from her vein strong and almost frantic. My hand fisted and pulled the Chosen’s head back as I fought the need to be deep inside her.
Finally, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I pulled my fangs from her skin, licking the remaining blood off her, moaning at the taste. Standing to my feet, I pulled the Chosen up with me. Damn it had been too long. I felt like I could cum right then. But that would only serve to embarrass me!
As I leaned in to kiss her neck, my hands eased her robe off her delicate shoulders, down her arms and off her tight, lean body. I leaned down a bit, grabbing her ass cheeks and pulled her up, making her wrap her legs around me. My lips found hers as I held her up to my height. She backed off a bit and whispered in my ear, “Put me down. I want to taste the King of the race in my mouth.” Fuck me. I didn’t care how forward this female was being. That was hot as hell. So I set her back on her feet.
I felt her hands on my leathers, grabbing the zipper and carefully, slowly, pulling it down. Then came the button. My leathers slowly were pushed down to the floor. My cock was pulsing with anticipation of her touch, her lips, her warmth. I heard her knees hit the floor and then the hand wrapped around my most sensitive area, almost making me lose myself right then and there. Her tongue was wonderful as it slid up my length, her hand following close behind. I leaned back against the desk, my ass against the lip of it. My hands tightly clung to it.
I sucked in air through my teeth as she took my length into her mouth. The feel of her around me sent chills up my spine. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Her mouth travelled up and down me like a basketball bouncing off the floor. Every time she got to the tip, she sucked hard on my tip.
My breathing became ragged, my fingers clenched tighter as I felt a release building. My hands flew to her hair, clenching, pushing her face further onto my length, making her deepthroat. Her moans were starting to match mine, but mine were getting louder as I got closer to release.
I couldn’t hold back anymore.* Fuck I’m gonna cum *I told her. I could just imagine the smirk that most likely crossed her face as she hummed. The vibrations that travelled along me did me in. I came. And I came hard into her mouth. She did great though, swallowed the whole load. That just turned me on even more.
I pulled her up by her hair, my hand was still fisted in it. My mouth crashed into hers in a searing fucking kiss. We moaned into each others mouths as our lips moved together. When we broke apart, we were both breathless.
I proceeded to bend her over the desk, pushing everything off it before doing so. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to be balls deep inside this female. I scoffed silently to myself as I realized for the first time I didn’t even know her name! At this point, though, what the fuck did a name matter? She’d already sucked me off. I already had her blood coursing through me. What the hell did a name have to do with anything?
The moment she was bent over, I leaned down and took a quick lick of her core. I couldn’t help myself damn it. I moaned at the taste of her, moaned that for the first time in months that was a female’s taste on my tongue. She moaned too, her hips following my movements, pushing back into me. I took a few more tastes before pulling myself away.
As soon as I was standing, I plunged myself deep into her in one movement. The groan that left my lips was long and loud.* Fuck! *She was moaning and groaning louder than I thought possible of a female. Beth certainly had never been so vocal about her pleasure. And fuck I took a ton of pleasure from it. Hearing her moans, smelling her lust, it was going to end me completely soon enough.
Our skin was bouncing off each other with a nice, loud “fap, fap, fap.” How was I not hurting her? Shit, it didn’t really matter to me in that moment. I had already lost myself, stopped caring about who I was fucking and was just going on pure instinct. nothing mattered outside of fucking her brains out. Not the brothers. Not them hearing this and giving me shit about it later. Not her screams of pleasure that were getting louder and louder.
I was lost in it. And I didn’t care. I loved it. I reveled in the feeling of her core wrapped tightly around my length. I felt her walls started to pulsate and I knew she was getting close to her own release. I reached around to her front, finding her clit and started to rub it quickly. It wasn’t long before she did find her release. Her screams loud enough to wake the damn dead.
Letting myself go, my yells joined hers and I just knew the whole mansion knew their king had just fucked a Chosen. Whether or not the brothers would talk about it in front of me, give me shit for it didn’t matter.
I leaned down and kissed the Chosen’s back, lightly. I quietly thanked her and pulled out of her. One thing I loved about being a vampire? Didn’t have to worry about the female getting pregnant unless she was in her needing. So no need for protection. Made for less clean up.
I got dressed quickly and made my way for the door as she wrapped her robe around her. Opening the door for her, I let her leave without another word. She had served her purpose*
*My hand hit the plastic monitor beside me as I reached for the rum bottle on my desk. Mhalice. My son was fast asleep in his crib. A small proud smile crossed my lips. He was almost a year old, and I hadn’t once laid eyes on my own flesh and blood. That one fact bothered me daily. Shit, more like every time I thought of my son.
He was growing into a great kid. It was a little early yet, but I was sure he’d be a lot like his old man. But secretly I hoped he would have a lot of his mahmen in him too.
Beth. I choked up, tears flooding my eyes even this long after. I took a deep breath and grabbed the rum bottle as I sat back. Thoughts, memories flooding my mind. It was the day our son, heir to the vampire race’s throne, was born….*
*I woke up knowing something was wrong. Blood was all I smelled. Fresh hot blood. In the bed next to me, Beth was panting making the bed shake with her movements. Concern immediately flooded me.* Beth? Beth what’s wrong? What’s going on? *It was one of those times, you just knew something was off. But I had no idea what.
“The baby’s coming,” she told me between quick breaths. I reached over and grabbed the phone, calling the doc to come help. This was way out of my league and I was scared beyond measure. I had no idea what was going on, what to do, how to help. All I did know was there was blood. Too much blood.
Once the doc came and got us settled in the med center, I started to calm down a bit. I knew she was in good hands. I knew the doc would take care of her. There was no way anything would go wrong, right?
Fuck, me. It wasn’t long after that things really did go down hill. Her hand gripped mine tighter than ever before. Her screams were louder, harsher than ever before. The worst part? The scariest part? Jane and Manny started yelling at each other, running around.* What’s going on? What’s happened? *I tried to get someone to talk to me, keep me updated, but no one listened. For the first time since I was born, I didn’t matter to anyone in the room. Everyone was panicking. Their fear was like a thick cloud in the room. Which only drove my fear farther.
Suddenly there was even more blood. I could hear it dropping on the floor, puddling, pooling. “She’s hemorrhaging!!!” Jane yelled. Their footsteps quickened as they tried to help my shellan, the only person in this world that could keep me stable.
“WRATH!!!!” Beth screamed, but it wasn’t as powerful as it had been. Her hand holding mine wasn’t as strong. She was slipping away from me, slowly. I could feel it. I tried to stay there and hold her hand, tried to stay strong because I was so scared of what I knew was happening, but I was pushed out of the room by tiny female hands.
In the hallway, I fell to my knees. No brothers around me. Completely alone. I wept. I sobbed like a damn pussy. But I didn’t give a shit. My shellan was leaving me. Finding her way into the Fade.
I screamed. I punched the walls. I cursed the Scribe Virgin. But none of it worked. Wasn’t long before Jane came out to give me the worst possible news – she had left me. Beth had left me. Gone unto the Fade.
Why I hate Boo!
Wrath: *I sighed as I got up from my desk. This had been one hell of a long ass night. Rubbing my hand over my face, I grab George’s collar and begin the trek to mine andBeths room. Work had been keeping me away from her far too much.
She seemed to be doing better lately, since we had our chat and got things out in the open, but I still was worried about her. In her sleep she would call out for our son, begging him to come back, not to go into the Fade. It broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes every time she woke me with her screams. I wished day after day there was something I could do, but always came up with nothing.
As I reached the door to our room, my body seemed to start to drag in anticipation of the extremely comfortable bed inside. The moment I walked inside, I was hit with a wall of metallic smell, one I recognized all too well. It wasn’t all that long ago that that smell meant the death of mine young. It was that thought, that one thought that drove me to action. George too, it seemed as he started pulling at me, jumping in the direction of the closet, barking with every jump.* Alright, boy. Take me to it.
*As my feet carried me, following the dog my shellan had given me, the smell got stronger. When I felt George stop moving, I knelt on the floor, my hands roaming trying to find the source of the smell. What my hands hit, made my heart stop yet again. I knew those hands, that face, that hair as well I knew my own. It wasBeth. I felt the cuts on her wrists.
I brought them, one by one, to my mouth. Running my tongue along the cuts to seal the wounds, I tasted the salt of mine own tears mixing with my shellans blood. Why would she do this? Why would she chance killing herself? I knew her vampire side wouldn’t allow her to die so easily but that didn’t matter to me. Mine shellan had tried to kill herself. Had she been fully human, I wouldn’t be attending a Fade Ceremony for mine young tomorrow, it would be for the both of them. I groaned and almost choked on my tears as I brought my own wrist to my mouth.* Come on,Beth. Come on, Nalla. Wake up for me.
*Once I had bit my wrist, drawing the blood she most desperately needed right now, I put my wrist to her mouth, begging her to drink.*
Beth: *Darkness…that is what surrounded me. I saw nothing, heard nothing until a little ball of light came towards me. I knew who it was before it spoke. Mine young. “Mahmen it is not your time. I know you miss me but you cannot come where I am. You must go back and let me go. Father needs you as do others. You will see me again. I am always with you. I love you Mahmen.”
After the light backed away I heard the bark of George and heavy footsteps ofWrath draw near. I smelled seawater that was only his tears. I tried to tell him to leave me go. He would move on. But I couldn’t speak and the little voice of my young kept telling me to go back. Calloused hands touched my face as I felt my wounds heal by his tongue. I was so close but I knew my young was right. I needed to go back. Just as I tried to open my eyes I felt warm liquid pass over my dry lips. Blood…Wrath was feeding me. Slowly my strength returned to me.
Drinking slowly I reached out forWrath, his hand, arm whatever I could find. Gripping his forearm tight, I opened my eyes and sealed the wound* I…I…I’m sorry nallum…
Wrath: *I was so happy in that moment. She was alive. She was breathing. She was talking. It was all just music to my ears. My smile was wide and my chuckle wet as I ran my hands over her precious face.* You’re okay. You’re okay. *I wrapped my arms around her and brought her up to me in a tight hug.* I love you so much. Fucking hell,Beth, what were you thinking? Why would you do something like that? *I brought her back away from me a bit running my hands along her face as I spoke*
Beth: *I lowered my head, ashamed of what I had done. Tears fell as I spoke* I couldn’t breathe. I was so consumed with grief seeing the white around the manse. And when I went into the nursery…I lost it. It was stupid but I didn’t know what else to doWrath. I just wanted the pain to stop. I don’t know how I will make it tomorrow. I miss him so much.Wrath
*I wiped my tears and looked up* We need to name him…he needs a name.
Wrath: *I nodded knowing she was right. We had hardly been able to be around each other lately because of all the heartache it brought up, let alone be able to choose a name. And we needed to have one for the ceremony tomorrow.* I agree. We need to choose a name, but, Beth I need you to start coming to me when you’re having problems or if you need to talk. Please don’t ever, /ever/ do this again. I just thank theScribe Virgin that your vampire side saved you. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d have lost you too. Please don’t ever make me have to find out.
Beth: *Lifting his wraparounds I looked intoWrath eyes* I promise. But I need you to come to me too instead of holing up in your office and drinking. I need you. *sighing I shook my head when a little voice spoke to me “Dhanger” * Dhanger . That is his name.
Wrath: *I smiled* That’s a perfect name. Dhanger. A very strong name for a young like ours. And you have a deal. I’ll be out of the office at a decent hour every night. I even promise we will start having some date nights. How does that sound? *I started to stand up, but as I put my hand down to lean on, it hit something.
Sitting back down, I grabbed what my hand had hit. I knew it right away - one of my old fighting daggers. My heart broke yet again. She had used something that had meant the world to me ages ago to try to take something I loved more than life itself from me. It was one of the biggest stabs to my heart ever, hurting more than any stab from a lesser ever could. I chose not to say anything right then though. We had started to move passed what had happened, at least for a moment, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin that. Putting a hand out to helpBeth to her feet.*
Beth: *I couldn’t help but notice the pained expression cross his face as he found his dagger. My heart broke even more. I reached up grabbing his hand* That sounds great. Right now I just want to be in your arms. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day.
Wrath: *I smiled lightly as I lift you up into my arms bridal style* That it is. But we’ll get through it. Together. Like we should have been doing things all along. For now, why don’t we go to the guest room down the hall. I think Fritz will be cleaning in here for a while. *Grabbing George’s collar and carryingBeth to the guest room, the walk seemed a lot longer than it was. Tomorrow would certainly be hard. Letting our son, Dhanger, go, letting him find peace in the Fade, none of it would be easy. But the fact of the matter was he needed to be laid to rest. And then, only after he was laid to rest, couldBeth and I begin to truly heal.*
Beth: *I’ve been a ghost of myself since I heard of the fade ceremony being planned. The doggen hushed their conversations around me but it was hard not to see all the white being placed around the manse. White was the color of death for the vampire race and I have been dressing in black, the human color of death.
My already tiny frame was more emaciated since the death of my young. I had hardly eaten since that night and I hid it by wearing baggy black clothing. My throat tightened as I found myself in the would be nursery which was completely covered in white. Seeing the pale yellow room bright in white cloth broke me.
I ran to the closet in my mated chambers where Wrath still had his daggers. I couldn’t take the hole in my heart, the pain in my chest anymore. If I just ended it I could be with my young. I could breath again. I rummaged through the leathers and shitkickers until my hand felt something smooth and sharp.Wrath’s dagger. I wrapped my hand around the hilt and brought it out. Two quick slices and it would be over. My pain would be gone. I sat shaking on the floor, the blade pressed to my wrist. I just needed a little more pressure, a little deeper and it would be over. Wrath would move on. He was so much stronger than I was.
Hot tears feel down my cheeks as I drew a line of crimson across pale flesh. I hissed as my skin burned from the blade. My head felt fuzzy and my vision went black from emotion overload not blood loss. My head hit the floor and the blade fell from my hand. Peace…I was at peace now*
Wrath: *Taking a deep breath, I walked back into my office. I let go of George and felt my way to the house phone. Picking up the receiver, my fingers found their way to the braille number 1, the direct line to the doggen’s living area of the mansion and Fritz’s room. Being so late, I knew he would be there, winding down from a long night of picking up after messy Brothers and young. Sure enough, he picked up on the first ring.
"This is Fritz," he answered.* Fritz, I need you in my office immediately. * "Yes, sire. Right away, sire." He hung up the phone, not needing to know anything more than I, the king, needed him. It wasn’t long before he came quickly walking up to my office door. His quiet knock was unneeded, but I allowed him to keep with the formality. Formality was what Fritz lived and breathed. Any deviation from that and he was lost.
I willed the doors open and allowed him entrance. “You wanted to see me, sire.” I heard him say as he bowed. Of course he bowed. In his eyes it would be disrespectful not to; even if the king was blind as fuck.* Sit, Fritz. * I sensed his movements and followed them as I poured us each a drink of rum.*
Fritz, I’m going to need your help. Next week we’re going to hold the Fade Ceremony for the royal young. *At the mention of the lost young, his emotions fell. “Dropped” may be a better word, even. And mine dropped with them. I couldn’t dwell on emotions, though. In this moment, I was King, not father. The Fade Ceremony was essential for our young to find its way unto the Fade and I was not going to be the one to keep mine child from rest for eternity. “As you wish, sire,” he whispered into the silence between us. “I shall make sure all is ready.” I nodded with a slight smile.
I dismissed him. An ease fell over me knowing Fritz would take care of everything, and there would be nothing for me to worry about as far as the Fade Ceremony was concerned any longer. it was in very capable hands.*
Wrath: *I groaned. Would this stack of paperwork never end? I mean honestly! For three nights, I had been working on this same stack of paper and it felt never-ending, like a bottomless stack. I briefly thought back to just a few years earlier, how I never imagined myself being the king, never imagined that I would allow myself to be chained to this desk, this throne. I never wanted this for myself, but I surely couldn’t go out on patrol anymore. This was the only way left that I could assist the race. Being king was now my only option. Once again, just like it had many times since the death of my young, the countless sacrifices I had made for my race, for this war, passed through my mind. I started trying to count them, but gave up eventually. Over my 300-some-odd years in existence I had seen far too much death, far too much suffering.
That was one reason I commended Marissa. She had decided she wanted to help the abused females of the race She /choose/ it. Not only was she able to choose her “destiny” but she choose to help the abused of our race. When she came to me with that idea, I had been floored. Never had I imagined she would choose to do that. I mean, I would have never /chosen/ to be king. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be chained to a desk. I didn’t want to help people. I wanted to fight. I wanted a dagger in my hand.
I drank the rum from the glass and slammed it back on my glass, pouring another. Destiny. Shaking my head I scoffed at the word. Destiny. Was this my destiny? Was I to sit here, losing everyone I love one by one. Fade Ceremony after Fade Ceremony? I gasped and dropped the glass. Fade Ceremony. I even whispered the words to the empty room. We never had a Fade Ceremony for our lost young.Beth and I had been stuck inside our own minds, grieving so hard for so long that we never gave a Fade Ceremony a thought. We had to do this. Our young had to have entrance unto the Fade. I got up from the desk, knocking over the rum in the process as I tripped on my way to I had to talk to Beth and all the others. We had to have the Fade Ceremony as soon as possible!*
Wrath: *The couch again. I had fallen asleep on the couch in my office yet again. This had become the habit. Get migraines doing paperwork, drink until I can’t feel it, drink some more until I pass out on the couch. Never leave my office. Never speaking to anyone. Just bury myself in work. Work was my life now. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. Don’t think. Don’t feel. That’s how I got through That’s the only way I wasn’t as insane or worse than my former brother, Murhder. That’s the only way I was still living.
More than once I had thought about going outside one night, staying out until the sun came out. Just…. just letting myself burn, never having to face the music again. Maybe the glymera was right. Maybe the BoB was right. Maybe I just needed to let someone else take the throne the responsibilities, let someone else make the decisions. Maybe I should just get out of it all. Why should I let this war, this stupid war take another life, another loved one from me? Why should I let it matter so much? Why should someone else’s war be able to take so much?
I felt the wind kick up around me yet again, heard it picking up the papers on my desk and throwing them around the room. I did my best to reign it in, but I felt the tears running down my cheeks and new it was useless. All of this was useless. The anger, the tears all of it was useless. It wasn’t going to bring my precious young back and it wasn’t going to make me feel any better. Nothing was. My young was lost forever and there wasn’t a damn motherfucking thing I could do about it. But even that realization, that fact wasn’t going to bring my young back to me. My tears ran faster and faster down my face, my breath coming faster as well. Sitting up on the couch I did my best to control my breathing but it was useless too. I was having a full blown panic attack and no one was around to help, no one even knew what was going on inside these desolate four walls.
So I did the only thing I could think to do. I put my head between my knees and tried to take deep breaths while the papers and books continued flying around the room. It took a while, a long ass fucking while, but I finally was able to calm down. The books and papers floated to the floor as my breathing finally starting slowing. My heart finally starting beating normally. Sitting back on the couch, my face toward the ceiling, I sent up a prayer to the Virgin that this would all stop soon, that someday soon the panic attacks would stop, that Beth would start talking to me again, that I would be able to face the world outside these four walls and be able to face my brothers.
For now, though, I would stay here not giving a shit about anything that happened outside, only caring about not thinking. For now, my world consisted of me and rum. That’s it and that’s all that it would be for however long I needed it to be that way because right now there was just no facing anything. I couldn’t handle listening to anyone else’s bullshit. I couldn’t handle hearing about who said what to who making so and so whine. Right now all I could handle was my own bullshit, my own whining. Those fuckers out there could handle their own bullshit. Not me. Not now. Maybe not ever*